Welcome to the New Account page!
Unfortunately, we have too many people in our system at the moment and are unable to accommodate any additional members. It's really unfortunate because we've checked and none of our current members are like one another, so they'll never actually find anyone like them. We realize this causes a fairly fundamental problem in the whole "find someone like" me approach to meeting people. So we'll see what we can do.
Special Refer an Ex Discount
Just break up with someone? Well, think about it: if you're here, there's a chance your ex should be too, right? So send them a text and when the two of you join together you'll receive a 50% discount off of your membership. Yes, that's right, you'll be sharing a membership. Don't worry: even though you'll still be able to see the people each of you are researching, dating, and becoming intimate with, we're sure the discount will be worth it.
Notice Regarding the "Random Likes" Program
We deeply apologize and send our sincere regrets to any of you who participated in our "Random Likes" program. The program as you may remember was designed to use a sophisticated computer algorithm to match members based on seven hundred and thirty-two different characteristics. Unfortunately, the computer suffered a system wide failure during the matching process and the algorithm's intended goal was inadvertently reversed. The good news is that most members who received notices that their perfect mate was some form of farm animal have settled out of court and are now resuming normal lives. Due to our best efforts, we were successful in locating all but one such member, whose current location is unknown. At the time of this posting, the location of the goat they were paired up with also remains unknown.
Again, our bad.